I used to explain away every hesitation or missed cue by saying it was just a part of getting older. It was a comfortable way to quiet my own anxiety while standing by the coffee maker, waiting for the water to heat.
When I first heard the term cognitive dysfunction, I felt a familiar internal resistance that had nothing to do with the dog and everything to do with my own fear of labels.
I used to assume that any change in my senior dog was simply a matter of joints getting stiff or energy levels dipping. I kept my ceramic dog-bone jar by the coffee maker filled with treats, and I waited for the usual signs—a bit more napping, perhaps a slower rise from the rug r
I once assumed that a sleeping dog was just a dog who did not need anything from me for a few hours. I would walk past the ceramic dog-bone jar by the coffee maker, hear the heavy silence of the house, and think of it as a simple pause.
The kitchen feels different when the sun dips below the horizon. I notice it first by the ceramic dog-bone jar by the coffee maker, which suddenly seems to hold a shadow that was not there during the bright morning hours.
I used to believe that Mabel was just becoming more stubborn. I would see her standing at the back door for ten minutes, staring into the dark, and I would pull a treat from the ceramic dog-bone jar by the coffee maker just to coax her back to the rug.
The kitchen floor always feels like the center of my house. I was standing by the coffee maker last Tuesday when I watched Pickle, the senior cocker spaniel currently in my care, walk toward the pantry. He usually moves with a steady, food-motivated purpose.
I remember the exact quality of light hitting the ceramic dog-bone jar by the coffee maker when the vet said the word dementia. It was a Tuesday morning, and the house felt quiet in that way it only does when both Mabel and Walter are sleeping near the back door.
I usually hear the first sign of trouble from the hallway rug runner. It is a soft, repetitive sound, not the frantic scramble of a dog who needs the back door, but a slower, aimless shuffle that persists long after the house has settled for the night.
The morning transition is rarely as seamless as people imagine. I stand in my kitchen, waiting for the kettle to hum, and watch the slow, rhythmic movement of three dogs navigating the rug runner toward the back door.
For a long time, the morning was something I moved through on the way to the coffee maker. Kettle on, dogs up, back door open, everyone outside, back inside, bowls down. I was not watching. I was executing.
The kitchen floor transforms when the sun drops behind the fence. I usually stand by the ceramic dog-bone jar by the coffee maker while the water boils, watching the shadows stretch across the linoleum.